Divorce, Dignity, and the Delusion of a Modern Society
As India grapples with the COVID-19 crisis, another silent tragedy plays out. The death toll has left countless children orphaned. Child rights organizations are rushing to arrange legal adoptions, trying to prevent the horrific rise of trafficking.
While society mourns these children and scrambles to act, we must pause and reflect:
What does it mean to be human in a society that shuns humanity at its core?
What is human capital when our values are so bankrupt?
When the Gates Opened: Bill & Melinda's Divorce
Bill and Melinda Gates' divorce was called “the biggest split since Ram and Sita.” A humorous take, but it reveals a lot about our cultural psyche. In ancient times, legal divorce didn’t even exist—yet we romanticize painful separations as divine sacrifice. Today, though we have the legal tools, we lack the emotional maturity and social compassion to handle divorce with dignity.
India still treats divorce as a social stigma, not a personal choice.
Step into any family court, and you'll witness a system buckling under the weight of marital disputes—cases riddled with baseless allegations, toxic mind games, and ego battles. Instead of seeing divorce as a resolution, we treat it like a courtroom brawl.
The Dual Faces of Society: Children, Orphanages, and "Legitimacy"
Take a closer look at our orphanages. You’ll find not just children who lost their parents, but those born out of wedlock—rejected by families and society alike. Yet, once adopted, these same children are suddenly considered legitimate and worthy of respect.
Our moral compass swings wildly between compassion and cruelty, depending on convenience.
A Woman’s Choice is Society’s Obsession
Recently, psychologist Jaseena Backer shared a powerful post. She was counseling a financially stable woman preparing to leave her marriage. She had informed her family, signed a rental lease, and was mentally preparing for the road ahead. But her biggest fear? Society.
Not financial strain. Not loneliness.
Just the noise of mudslingers.
As Jaseena aptly put it, “Mudslingers contribute nothing but take away your peace.” She quoted Christopher Walken:
“If you knew how quickly people forget the dead, you would stop living to impress people.”
Even Melinda Gates wasn’t spared post-divorce gossip. Despite handling it with dignity and public clarity, everyone felt entitled to dissect their marriage.
And while Melinda may be shielded by privilege, the average Indian woman is not.
She faces:
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Family guilt-trips about her unmarried sister’s “future.”
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Judgment for wearing red lipstick or laughing too loud.
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Ostracism from female friends for being a “threat.”
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Gossip for attending festivals or parties alone.
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Housing and job discrimination for being a divorcee.
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Condemnation for daring to find joy post-divorce.
Yet many Indian women still walk out of toxic marriages—not because it’s easy, but because they choose peace over pretense.
And society owes them silence, not scrutiny.
Marriage is No Longer Sacred, Only Convenient
Let’s be honest: relationships today are fluid. People engage in multiple relationships before marriage. Live-ins are normalized. Partner swapping is silently accepted.
But dare to walk out of a marriage? Suddenly, it’s blasphemy.
Why? Because marriage is seen as a sacred Hindu bond meant to uphold progeny and legacy—not as an emotional or spiritual partnership. Ironically, many who claim to defend the sanctity of marriage are themselves living double lives.
Karmic Closure: A New Way to View Divorce
Our scriptures talk of “lena-dena”—karmic transactions between souls.
So why can’t divorce be seen as a karmic closure, rather than a courtroom war?
When two people end their marriage with mutual respect and clarity, they’re not just parting—they’re clearing space for each other’s peace. That takes courage, not shame.
In contrast, many stay legally married but lead fractured lives—multiple partners, hollow connections—all to avoid the dreaded label of "divorcee."
Hypocrisy Has Replaced Morality
Today, loyalty is mocked. Commitment is old-fashioned.
We expect couples to stay married, but quietly accept infidelity.
In this performative society:
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You’re expected to stay in a broken marriage.
Our Sick Society: Educated But Not Evolved
We have orphanages and old-age homes growing at alarming rates.
LGBTQ+ communities still battle for basic rights.
Single women are treated like public property.
Red-light areas coexist with lectures on chastity.
And amid all this, those who judge others the most often have no control over the fates of their own marriages, spouses, or children.
There Was a Better Way: Matrilineal Societies
Before patriarchy tightened its grip, India had matrilineal societies—communities where descent passed through the mother’s line. These were not anarchies. They were societies of peace, as even the United Nations recognizes.
We still worship our Kul Devi, our family goddess. That’s the legacy of Phratry—a tradition where women had agency, and respect wasn’t conditional on marital status.
Imagine how many “empowerment” campaigns we could scrap if we simply went back to respecting women as full individuals—not appendages of their husbands.
Your Only Compass Is Your Soul
In the end, you don’t owe explanations to society. You only have to face one person—yourself.
So turn on your inner GPS. Use your free will. Walk your path with dignity, whether it's toward love, peace, solitude, or healing.
And remember:
In a world that clings to outdated labels, choosing truth is the most radical thing you can do.
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